Empaths Ache From One Thing

Empaths ache from one thing: deep down they think they can’t have the lives they REALLY want.

There are many barriers when it comes to having spiritual gifts. Sometimes it’s just easier to wrap ourselves in fear than it is to pursue the life we want.

I think a lot of empaths believe they can’t have the lives they want.

Most of us want to have our own spiritually based businesses and leave our desk jobs and work 100% from home. But we go on to fill ourselves with excuses, habits and half-truths that serve as barriers to having what we want.

Over the years we talk ourselves out of our dreams and wonder why deep down we are so unfulfilled.

One of the most significant barriers to accepting my spiritual gifts and living the life I wanted was fear of telling others about what I do. 

I come from a very conservative family. I also came from a very conservative workplace. Talk about always being the square peg in the round hole!

But as the years went on, my spiritual gifts were no longer talking to me they were screaming at me!

But, I was afraid to let others know and see the real me.

The real me speaks to spirit guides and does spirit guide sessions and coaches others in a spiritually based way.

To the mainstream population, including all of my family and most of my friends, this is just plain weird.

And, I am not going to lie, going against the norm is scary sh***. This is one thing that stops a lot of empaths dead in their tracks.

So how did I do it?

How did I let others see the real me?

Did I come out and swing from the spiritual chandelier and tell everyone?

Nope!

Because here’s the thing, not everyone needs to know and trust me when I tell you that not everyone cares.

There are still close family members who do not know what my coaching business is about. It’s sort of a ‘don’t ask don’t tell situation.’

I finally learned to step into a place where other people’s thoughts don’t matter to me around this anymore.

But I also do not go looking for naysayers and give them fuel to judge and be nasty either.

I have merely learned who to tell and who not to tell.

If someone approaches me and doesn’t like what I do, I view that as their problem, not mine.

But the most important lesson that I finally learned was, “Whose life is this anyway?”

It’s not my mother’s or my father’s or my friend’s or my coworkers- it’s 100% my life. And my life comes with its own purpose that no one else can live but me. 

And living a watered down version of that will not complete my assignment, honor my gifts or my talents.

You CAN have the life you want as an empath. You CAN have the business you want as an empath. Anything else is just an excuse. And fear is just that, fear. Tell yourself, “it’s just a fear.”

You were sent here purposefully with the gifts you always question yourself about.

And yes, there are many with spiritual gifts, but no one else has them the way you do.

This is your talent.

Success is using our talents and fulfilling our destiny.  

 



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Letting Go Is Not As Hard As You're Making It

I have not been blogging lately.

If I had a sign to hang on the door, it would probably read, “ Do not disturb, serious, spiritual transformation and healing in progress.”

When I was younger, and I complained about any pain, my parents would say, “ It’s just growing pains, let it go, you’re fine.”

I think there is a lot of that going on.

Growing.

And as you grow, pain rises to the surface to be cleared, and it always falls away.

It started when I began creating my new coaching program, “Fresh Start.” I knew that if the program was to help others,  it had to be proven by first helping me.

So I wrote the program and tried it out as I went along.

I was really pleased because there was some real transformation happening in my own life.

Then as luck would have it, ( or the universe would have it), Mindvalley and Christie Marie Sheldon did a major launch of her program ‘Unlimited Abundance’.

I am a stereotypical HSP, if there is learning to be had within two feet of me  - I am diving into it, head first.

And so I did.

I dove into her program.

I have linked to the program above, and this is not an affiliate link. I just think the program happens to be the best spiritual program I have ever taken. And as an intuitive coach who eats spiritual programs for breakfast, I think that’s saying a lot!

I think the primary take away from the program for me,  is the clearing aspect.

The big fat, glaring reminder that we are energetic beings that need to give as much attention to the energetic side of ourselves as we give to our physical selves.

And here’s the thing, we hsp’s, empaths and psychics talk intellectually and incessantly about clearing, energy, and protection, don’t we?

But how often do we practice it and really do it?

I mean really do it.

Clear away old patterns, beliefs, habits and whatever else you picked up.

It takes 24-7 consistent attention.

I now realize this is what’s been missing from every program or coaching I’ve ever had, including my own.

You can try to manifest and convene with god and make your dream board, or let go and let god, but unless you’re clearing the 800 layers of programming that brought you to the place you’re in, manifesting what you want can be tough.

As someone who comes from the psychology world, I think we have sort of taken the wrong direction with all of this letting go, healing and clearing.

I think it’s because we love our problems, issues and stories. We love to pull up a chair and live there. We love to talk to counselors and coaches about them and say, “you know, if It weren’t for this one thing, all of my dreams would come true.” And then, let’s be honest here…. if you’re an HSP on top of that, you have the added part where you will overthink and over analyze ‘your problems’ until you have paralyzed yourself into inaction.

But really, clearing, and destorying ( yup you read it right: de + story) all of our stories and patterns does not have to be all that complicated and time-consuming.

I think we have this sort of misguided belief that it must take us hours of rumination to clear what took us a lifetime to create.

But in truth, you simply need to connect, make a statement, genuinely mean that statement and watch as the old pattern leaves. Then you replace it with something new.

So I have now taken this into my practice (thanks Christie). And I work on this all of the time. Whenever I have spare moments, I am clearing and then replacing it with the good.

So now, I do this by combining Christie’s clearing method with Noah St. John’s process of afformations and adding a dash of spirit guides and intuition.

So it looks like this:

1) Let’s say I have a lot of guilt, shame, and blame about old jobs that I have had. Or old bosses or whatever it may be.

Now let’s say somewhere in me, either consciously or unconsciously, I have programming that blames them for my lack of success ( yes I know this is irrational but go with me here, our programming is not always rational). And so this belief and pattern would be one layer or block, of many,  that is standing in my way of having the money and career that I desire.

2) So I check in and connect.

I like to imagine a doorway in the sky opening and then link to it with my 3 and 7th chakras. And then I magnify that connection. The idea is to get into as much light as possible.

3) So when I want to clear this, I will want to use words like delete, erase, remove.

Christie uses “delete, uncreate, destory. “ But I think the words you use, should be words you resonate with. If you don’t know what those words are,  go to wordhippo and type in ‘erase’ or ‘delete’ and see the list of words and choose the ones that you most like.

So for me, I would say, “anywhere I have blamed any old bosses or employers for blocking my success,  can you please erase, remove and extinguish that in all directions of time?”  And I might say that a few times until I can physically feel that area in me being cleared . You will also know you have removed it because you will feel a bit lighter.

(You can further check out Christie’s method here.)

4) Now that you have cleared, you will want to fill that void with something you do want. This is where I like Noah’s method.

Noah St. John created Afformations. They are different than affirmations because they ask a question which forces your brain into looking for and finding an answer.

So our statement would be something like,  “why am I so happy now that I have my ideal career?”  or “Why do I always have money?”   You will feel which statement works best for you.

That’s it, one layer gone!

Poof.

Blown up.

Destroyed.

Done.

And you just keep doing that and chipping away at the blocks, little by little, and I promise you - your life will change!

This is something I will never neglect again and something that is now 100% in practice in my own coaching sessions and programs. No client leaves before they have cleared the old and THEN introduced the new.

Letting go is so much easier than we think.

 

OTHER BLOGS YOU MAY ENJOY: 

What’s The Difference Between A Highly Sensitive Person, An Empath, A Healer, and An Intuitive?

7 Things Highly Sensitive People Can Do To Get A Deeper Sleep (Amanda Linette Meder) 

8 Ways Intuitive People Deviate From Their Life Purpose

The Number One Trait That Stops Empaths From Achieving Their Goals

 

 

Are You Afraid To Feel? You Might Be A HSP (Highly Sensitive Person)

Last week, I went to my second funeral in as many months.

I didn’t really know the newly departed and had only a few interactions with him. His death was sad, as any death is. None of which I expected to feel since I didn’t really know him. I was just there to support my loved ones.

As an HSP, I have gathered many coping mechanisms throughout my life. My go-to when things get too much is to try and cut emotion off and not feel it.

Here though, on this day, inside this church, my years of HSP coping mechanisms were no match for what lay before me.

As soon as I stepped inside the area of ceremony, I was hit with such a tidal wave of emotion it nearly incapacitated me.

I was immediately embarrassed at the emotion that took over because it so obviously affected me. My lips and chin were quivering, my eyes welled up with tears which ran down my face, and my body shook from desperately trying to hold back the emotion that was trying to come through.

All for someone I hardly knew.

As soon as I saw the first picture of the newly deceased, I was done. He was with his children, grandchildren and dog. That picture sent me feeling, hearing and sensing everything they did on that beautiful day. I then turned to look at the attendees, only to feel every sadness they were feeling at this mournful time.

A funeral can be an emotionally overwhelming experience for anyone but for the HSP, it’s a tsunami of sensory activity.

Such is the life of an HSP.

As an experienced intuitive, I have learned all the protection mechanisms; surrounding yourself with light and using crystals and anything else you can think of. I have tried them all. But as I said—in this funeral, on this day, none of my ‘HSP Self Care or intuitive” mechanisms worked. Not one.

On this day, I felt and I sensed to the very core of my being.

They played ‘Taps’ at the end of this moving funeral with the full ceremonial guard present. I don’t think I have to tell you what kind of emotion came through; you get the picture.

Matter of fact, I bet you can feel the picture, can’t you?

My second bet is that the emotion came, you squelched it and pushed it back down.

For people so prone to feeling, some HSP’s can be the most unfeeling people you know.

Well, at least that is what they show you anyway.

What is going on inside is entirely different. It’s out of necessity of course. It’s protection.

Many sensitives don’t identify themselves with the HSP title. They think, “That can’t possibly be me. I don’t cry at the drop of the hat; I don’t over feel things. That is for the weak. I simply don’t have time for that. My life is busy!”

HSPs are highly intelligent and highly adaptable. They can convince themselves and anyone of anything, including the fact that they don’t feel. Because deep down, emotion is a fear that lurks around every corner just waiting to bombard the unsuspecting HSP.

This was me my whole life.

My own parents often described me as aloof. They often told me they didn’t understand me. They often told me what fellow HSP, Alanis Morisette’s parents told her (see sensitive the movie) that they, ”just didn’t know what to do with me.”

Either I seemed to be feeling things too deeply or not at all. Confusing for any parent but even more confusing for the HSP herself.

For some HSPs, learning to feel and being ok with it is like learning to fly. It’s hard work, disorienting, overwhelming and baffling. It is contrary to everything we are taught.

Our whole lives we are taught to behave and feel only to a certain degree that is considered ‘normal.’ But the HSP doesn’t quite fit into that 'normal.' They are truly wired differently. They are wired to feel and with purpose.

Because of this, HSPs can find themselves trying to unlearn everything they were taught by well-meaning people who told them they were “too sensitive,” then trying to relearn and find their own feeling map.

Allowing myself to feel is the hardest part of being an HSP because I know what comes with it and I know what it demands. But I have learned enough to know that not doing that is denying who I really am.

I feel powerfully. I have intense emotion. I have to constantly remind myself that sitting and being with that and allowing that is all ok.

I just wanted to shout out to all of you non-feeling HSPs out there.

If you think and label yourself a non-feeler, check in with yourself - you just may be a highly sensitive person in disguise.


 

If you're a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) who often wonders....

  • Why you seem to have extrasensory gifts?
  • What those gifts are?
  • What you should do with them?
  • Where to focus your time, energy, and attention in developing them?

Check out our Sixth Sensory Coaching for Highly Sensitive People!  It’s tailor made for, artists, writers, psychics, mediums, healers, empaths and intuitives looking for the best way to use their gifts and serve.


 

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