It wasn’t until I coached highly sensitive people, empaths and intuitives that I saw a large pattern of perfectionism. Through this, I realized that I also was a perfectionist in disguise and it had kicked my butt more than once.
This also helped me to learn what the true definition of perfectionism is. It’s not about being perfect, it’s more of a thought pattern. - It’s always wanting things to be perfect and unless they are, we hesitate to take action.
It’s rampant in our community and it is one of the major roadblocks that stop empaths from achieving their goals.
I think empaths have a profound inclination towards perfectionism.
Let’s use an example of a business meeting. Let’s say there is a room of ten or more people and one is an empath. And in this room, they are discussing the monthly financial projections, and things are not going well. The empath in the room is usually the first one to think they somehow are at fault. They willingly take the blame for the group Zeitgeist. Even though it probably has nothing to do with them. But because they so easily sense and feel the group conscious they know something is wrong. And since they are detecting it and feeling it so strongly - they immediately assume it is theirs to hold and take responsibility for. Now imagine this thought form and pattern going on for an individual's entire life.
Always wrong, always at fault and never measuring up. Do you think that might breed perfectionistic tendencies? Oh hell yes!
Now back to the coaching, I was speaking of earlier.
Often a person’s guides step forward and clearly say ‘ah yup it’s time to start that blog, or start that business - you have all the knowledge you need, you just need to do it.
Guess what goes through the empath’s mind?
Yes! I will start that blog, I have always wanted to!
Wait, no - I can’t start the blog.
I am not ready yet because everything isn’t in place and perfect.
I don’t have an audience.
I don’t know how to write blogs.
I don’t think I have enough education in my field of whatever (medium, intuitive reiki, etc).
Who am I to write a blog?
I am a horrible writer compared to others out there.
Most people in my life don’t even know that I have gifts how am I supposed to just come out and let them know about this strange part of me?
What will people think?
And on and on their brain spins and spins and goes into analysis paralysis.
Sadly, that is where some stop. Paralyzed and doing nothing because they feel the conditions aren’t perfect enough for them to begin.
Nothing will ever be perfect enough for you to start what’s inside your head right now desperately trying to get out.
Ask the biggies… Ask Doreen Virtue, Ask James Van Praagh, Ask Amanda Linette Meder or whoever else you consider successful in the field. Trust me - things were not all peaches and roses when they began.
What they did instead was take a scary leap. The leap that scares the living crap out of you.
And that is where change lies.
Right in the middle of fear.
The place where you make a change, and it sets your adrenaline pumping, your heart beating out of your chest, and you say, “omg, did I really just do that?”
Yup, you did, and they did too.
And had they not overridden the perfectionist button that always comes up (and never stops coming up) you and I would not be here today reaping the benefits of their teaching.
You start where you are at. You start with what you have.
Then you go for a ride with your spirit guides in tow.
They literally are your GPS for life purpose maneuvers.
For instance, you may write a blog on being a medium and then one day they will say “recalculating…. Take the next legal U-turn and go in an entirely different direction.” And so, you will. And you may do something entirely different with that blog. But tell that perfectionist side of you that’s ok! Things are always changing and forming and leading you onto your path. The path is never laid out perfectly for any of us with golden arrows lit up all along the way. Because if it was what would we learn in this lifetime?
Sometimes your guidance can be that clear, but usually, there isn’t as much ‘perfect’ as there is ‘appropriate.’ - The appropriate conditions for you to learn and fully develop and follow your path the way your soul intended you too.
In this brand new year - defy the perfectionist in you. Scare the hell out of it. Take the first bold step to the life you want and commit.
Where is perfectionism showing up in your life? How is it stopping you from sharing your gifts?
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